When you think of a stereotypical Sagittarius, probably the image that comes to mind is someone boisterous, loud, enthusiastic, and passionate. (Hello, it's me.) We express ourselves very strongly, even those of us who may be more introverted in nature.

Sometimes, though, our off-the-cuff, uncensored expressions may be detrimental to our relationships with other humans, mainly when we don't stop to think before we open our mouths. We can be offensive, hot-headed, unnecessarily argumentative, or unhelpful drama queens. As a Sagittarius, I am certainly guilty of all of those things, and I've had to learn some techniques to rein in my over-the-top tendencies so I can keep my relationships on an even keel and not, like, have a big outburst in the middle of a work meeting or something. (Instead of saying, "This project is pointless, nobody knows what they're doing and I am tired of wasting my time! GAH!" it's a lot better if I can say, "I'd like a bit more clarity on our goals and roles within this project to ensure we are efficient and effective in our efforts," for example. Even though I really want to say the former.) It's important to be honest with others about how you're feeling, but choosing your moment and the framing of that conversation is important. Sagittarians love to express ourselves, but immediately expressing our feelings in a not-well-thought-out way can damage relationships (or lose you a job). It's tempting to deny our feelings, or stuff them down—neither of which is productive in the long run, because the feelings don't actually go away. They just get shoved into the dark, and like seeds planted in the dirt, they grow, and may pop out at a very inconvenient moment.

Here are three methods that have helped me, as a Sagittarius witch, keep my foot out of my mouth and process my feelings in a healthy way, rather than bypassing them, stuffing them down, or blowing up at other people. Note that these tips are intended for folks with occasional issues with emotional management, and they may not work for everyone. If emotional outbursts or perpetually denying or bottling up your emotions is causing major problems in your life, consider talking to a therapist or other mental health professional to help develop coping mechanisms specific to your unique situation.

1. Take a Breath
To stop myself from saying something stupid, offensive, or giving out way too much information about an emotionally-vulnerable subject, I try to practice taking a full, deep breath before making off-the-cuff remarks. (I am not always successful, but I do try. The urge to be funny or react in the moment is strong, y'all.) That gives my brain a chance to catch up with the words on the tip of my tongue—or the tips of my fingers on the keyboard—and give them a quick confidence check before I say or type them. It's simple, but effective.

This method is most useful in less-emotionally-charged situations, when I'm relatively calm. For the more emotionally-charged situations, the next two methods are more helpful.

2. Invite Your Feelings to Tea
I have found Buddhist wisdom and Buddhist-inspired meditation methods to be extremely practical in helping me to accept, process, and release intense emotions in a healthy way. This is a technique inspired by a story about the Buddha in the book Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach¹. It's a good way to acknowledge and process strong emotions without letting them control your behavior. Having incense and a heavy stone or grounding crystal can enhance this technique, but are optional.

When you feel a strong emotion, find a space where you can be alone and undisturbed for a few minutes. If it's helpful, light some incense, dim the lights, splash your face with water, or hold onto a heavy stone or crystal (e.g., tiger's eye or hematite) to shift your headspace a bit.

Take a few deep breaths and close your eyes.

Give your feelings a persona and invite them to tea. (Yes, I know it's weird. Stay with me here.) Imagine yourself in a beautiful tea house, sitting comfortably and holding a cup of tea calmly, while the personified feeling expresses itself in front of you. I tend to picture the feeling as a cartoon version of myself, yelling, raging, sobbing, or lighting things on fire. If you're having trouble calling up or personifying the feeling, ask yourself: "What is trying to get my attention right now?" and, if you’re still struggling, focus on the physical sensations of the emotion(s). Let that feeling show you exactly how you feel, maybe even let it talk about why. Maybe multiple feelings will show up. Don't attempt to calm the feelings, dialogue with them, or tell them to stop. Just observe. If you feel so inclined and are able to do so, name the feelings and stories out loud while you observe: "Scared. Frustrated. Annoyed. Story about how I am always put in this position and it's unfair."

When you feel like the feeling has fully expressed itself to you, say:

I see you. Thank you.

Give it a hug, as you would hug a friend when they are struggling. This feeling is part of you, even if you don’t like it.

Take a few deep breaths and open your eyes.

If possible, journal your feelings, perhaps drawing or writing a story about the anthropomorphized versions of the feelings that you invited to tea, as a means of further healthy expression. You can also talk about your feelings with a friend or whoever triggered that emotional reaction, now that you are in a calmer headspace and better able to dialog about it without blowing up or placing blame.

3. Body Scan and Release
Sometimes, we don't exactly know what’s bothering us or why. And sometimes, our emotions show up in physical ways. By turning inwards, we can more easily find and release anything that's gotten stuck inside our bodies. Another Buddhist-inspired practice for coping with big, immediate feelings is a technique I've adapted from the book The Tao of Letting Go. It helps release strong emotions, pain, and stuck energy with the method ice to water, water to gas. "Ice refers to blocked, congealed energy; water refers to the accepting and relaxing of your internal blockage until it no longer causes you tension; gas refers to the complete release of all the bound energy moving away from your physical body."²

Take a few deep breaths and close your eyes. Starting at the top of your head, begin a slow body scan. Imagine your consciousness scanning every part of your body, inch by inch, starting from the top of your head and working down to your feet.

As you scan, pay attention to any place where you feel resistance, which can feel like pain, stuck energy, anxiety, anger, hardness, unpleasant heat or cold, or strain. If you are more visually-inclined with your magic, you may recognize it as a color shift, or a dark spot in your aura. When you encounter this, pause the scan. Take a moment to acknowledge the feeling. You do not need to label it, unless you feel confident in doing so. Then visualize and feel that place of resistance or blockage being heated up, to the point of melting, and then evaporating away from your body. You may need to do this several times before you notice a difference. Continue the body scan, working down your body, pausing and repeating the acknowledgment, melting, and evaporating technique whenever you encounter resistance.

If you feel called to return to an area higher up, do so, and then continue scanning downward from that spot once you've released the energy. Don't skip back down to where you were previously.

You may end up doing multiple body scans. That's okay. You may not get 100 percent of the pain or resistance released even after several scans, and that's okay, too. You should feel some relief from this technique, even if it's not a perfect release of everything that's troubling you.

Moving Forward
Your Sagittarian passion can serve you well in life, giving you the energy to do great things. But when it gets out of control, take a pause before reacting. After using these methods, you'll be in a better position to analyze the situation that triggered these feelings more clearly, and take whatever action seems best, which may include talking things out with a friend or mental health professional, changing your behavior or expectations, or simply letting the situation go because it's not worth your time or energy.

For more coping methods for when our less-fabulous Sagittarius qualities get the better of us, check out the book Sagittarius Witch, which I co-authored with Ivo Dominguez, Jr. and several other fabulous contributors. I've written a whole chapter about what sets Sagittarians off, and how to recover, and I wrote other chapters with tips for cleansing and shielding, recharging and self-care, and how to be the best, fullest expression of your unique and awesome Sagittarius self.

¹Brach, Tara. Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life with the Heart of the Buddha. Bantam, 2004. p. 75
²Frantzis, Bruce. The Tao of Letting Go: Meditation for Modern Living. Berkeley: North Atlantic Books, 2009. p. 80