The phrase "Rest in Peace" (or R.I.P.) originated from the Latin, "Requiescat in pace," which comes from a prayer within the Roman Catholic burial liturgy that means "may he (or she) rest in peace." It is an adage we often use when we hear someone has passed away. The acronym R.I.P is appropriately how the living feel–their life, their heart, and sometimes their soul, feeling ripped apart when their loved one transitions to the other side. Death may be peaceful for those on their afterlife journey, but not so much for those living with the heartache.

Just as we all have our own unique birth story, our life, and our journey to the afterlife, and subsequent life after life is just as unique. Through the heavenly signs and symbols that our loved ones share from the afterlife, the mourner is gifted with the assurance that there is an afterlife and a tentative feeling their loved one is okay on the other side. These are reminders that there are no such thing as random coincidences, but instead well-planned, heavenly hellos. But are the souls on the other side truly at peace and are they really resting in the afterlife? That answer, according to the departed, seems to depend upon how well the living did with their lessons of living.

The Other Side can be split up into three sectors: Heaven, Hell, and the In Between (often referred to as Purgatory). Obviously, for many of us, our first choice would be heaven; however, the other two become an option as well when we take our last earthly breath and breathe in the eternal. It's not necessarily a ledger of our good deeds that determine our destination; it's our own soul-set. Create Your Heaven
Heaven is what you make of it. Take a moment and close your eyes and envision the most beautiful sunset or sunrise you've ever seen. Think of the feeling you feel when you are with someone who is aligned to you. Feel the energy of the biggest belly laugh. Imagine your favorite scent, your favorite food, your favorite memory, or your favorite vacation. Those glimpses of experiences are a tiny taste of what Heaven is like. Just as we shouldn't waste our days away waiting for summer, or for Friday, or for someone to fall in love with us, or for happiness, we also shouldn't wait for heaven to find our heaven. The more that those who have departed have shared with us, the more of an outline we can create for our heaven, and the easier it becomes to so-call "build" it.

The In Between
Fear is paralyzing. Some of the fears may not be as abstract as worry over a zombie apocalypse, but they are real and true worries and fears. Those fears start as kids with fearing our parents will die, to worries about failing a class, to fear of the boogie man in the closet. Those fears can continue into adulthood. Will I ever find love? Will I lose my job? If I lose my job will anybody hire me? Will I die before my child is grown? Will I lose my house? The fears and worries escalade as time continues and that stress does something, although most of the time not seen (especially if you have a great hair colorist!), to your soul, your spirit, and your physical body. It puts stress on your system, just as high temperatures do to ice, and can cause an eventual cave in if you don't watch it. The stress also stops the flow of what you do want in your life. By holding on to the fear, the worries, and the what-ifs, you sabotage your true wishes from ever coming true, and this can continue into the afterlife.

There is often a fear of what will happen when one passes away, and whether there's a choice to walk in to the light or to not walk in to the light. Those who have departed have described the In Between differently. Some have felt it was a lonely and fearful place. Others described it as a healing place, much like the recovery room after surgery. All have said that they never felt at home in the In Between, unlike the description from those who walked in to the light to their heaven.

The Dark Place
Just as you create your life, you can create your hell as much as you can create your heaven.

Have you ever met someone who is miserable every day, all day long? No matter what good happens they find fault in something, sometimes everything? They live within their own personal hell, a place of uncomfortable comfort for them. Some are frightened of them and for them, while others offer sympathy and comfort. It's hard for those who only see darkness to welcome in positivity or enlightenment. If they don't know what peace feels like here, how will they discover it on the other side where we are to take our lessons here and use them along our quest?

Nobody is given a map of life, but we are all given the same tools to discover our path. Some choose a less than restful path, while others choose an expansive eternity. There are those who created darkness here in the earthly plane, and most likely carried that darkness with them into their afterlife. The departed have spoken to tell me they don't get a key card to the doors of the dark place, nor do they want one.

Advice from the Departed for a Soulful Life
The souls have offered advice to those in the earthly place so they can actually live and their other side be filled with life.

1. Spend more time with good thoughts.
2. Let go of what isn't working.
3. Be kind, including to yourself.
4. Find time each day to find your inner peace.
5. Bring joy, love, and laughter to each experience.
6. Forgive yourself for failures.
7. You can start over on any day, at any time.

Death is not a wall, death is a doorway. Lessons aren't punishment, but enlightenment. We first must be able to find our peace here on earth so we can rest in peace in the afterlife.