We think of falling in love and we imagine the moony eyes of our beautiful adored staring back at us lovingly, the magical way they make us feel, the sweet and heady elixir that runs through our veins. If we believe we can remain in that kind of love, life will gladly disavow us of that notion the first time our partner leaves the toilet seat up, breaks an agreement, hurts our feelings, or disappoints us. Not to mention stress, illness, trauma, and other catastrophes committed couples face, together.

Love may be a many splendorous thing, but life is no picnic. That's where knowing your composite Venus comes in handy. Venus is the Goddess of love, pleasure, beauty, eroticism and joy. Each of us has a Venus. Our personal Venus Signs show us who will curl our toes, and how, and answers so much about the particular chemistry our soul yearns for with others. Yet when we couple up, our respective birth charts join together and form a third chart: the composite chart.

In this chart of "Us," we find the composite Venus, but you can call her your relationship's fairy godmother, because when you learn to call on and nurture her, she capably restores what gets lost in the treadmill of life and garden-variety stress: our innocence; our desire and ability to see the best in one another; our ability to understand, to forgive, laugh, and remember the positive intention in each other's hearts. This is, at core, what a composite Venus can do. She offers what every long-term, committed relationship needs, for longevity: Second chances. Through tending and caring for our composite Venus we learn how to recapture the "magic" of Us.

Knowledge of our composite Venus doesn't happen instantly though. Because she is often in a different sign from our personal Venus, the relating style we need to cultivate together may feel foreign to each of us, respectively. For instance, a fiery composite Venus sign, in the chart of two otherwise earthy, predictable individuals, means challenging comfort zones with adventure is fun, romantic—and required chemistry if you want the spark of the partnership to thrive. Even if a skydiving adventure doesn't make sense for one or both of the individuals, together it will.

Whether we are conscious or not, when together, our composite Venus sign will spring to life, asking that we interact in a particular way. When we understand how to care for, nurture, and feed the magic, clouds part. Rainbows appear. And after a shared bout of mutual disappointment or failure, re-inspiring the "magic" of our composite Venus could not only save the day or weekend but the relationship itself.

Composite Venus By Sign
Venus in Aries: This relationship needs more than a bit of spice to passionately thrive. A recipe for spice: your mutual willingness to respectfully disagree, chase dragons, and take on challenges, together. Unfortunately, if you don't embrace the warrior spirit of your relationship, it may come to you in the form of unwanted friction and challenges. An "us against the world" attitude inspires closeness.

Venus in Taurus: Venus in her home sign bodes extremely well for committed, stable love. Creature comforts, good wholesome food, music you love, four-legged furry creatures, and quality cuddles take your relationship to magical heights. On the flip side, you both can get stuck in a rut by keeping things too copacetic. Be sure to air your differences regularly, and you'll keep drama at a minimum—as you like it.

Venus in Gemini: Riddles and questions keep your relationship fresh and exciting. Life is an endless game of Mad Libs for this intellectual, curiosity-loving Venus sign, which virtually guarantees you two won't get bored, though your shared interests, travels, and learning may start to outpace or over-stimulate you both. Each of you brings expertise to the relationship; nurture through listening to and teaching one another.

Venus in Cancer: Cancer is the most tender and vulnerable of all signs, making it at times all too easy for you both to feel slights, bumps, and sensitivities. The key is learning to trust each other enough to let your vulnerability be seen, felt, and supported. If sensitivity and empathy aren't natural to the individuals, this is difficult, but not impossible. Nurture the magic of tenderness by creating a safe, cozy haven.

Venus in Leo: This relationship needs to embody the "mythic romance" or "grand sweeping love affair," in soul and spirit. You may also need an audience to receive you. Think of the grand entrance the King and Queen make when they walk into a room: the mutual respect they feel for each other, the pride at being on the other's arm. Kindle your spark by regularly reliving the moment you fell in love, together.

Venus in Virgo: When you're feeling lackluster in your relationship, roll up your sleeves and get busy. Sign up for a couples course or do a spiritual retreat, together. Have clear agreements about the roles and responsibilities to the relationship, and always make sure you keep criticism and nagging out of the equation. This couple signed up for accelerated spiritual growth, together—which is magic in and of itself.

Venus in Libra: There's a golden-silvery glow around this pair; those with Venus in her home sign are blessed. The spirit of compromise, an ability to negotiate roles and agreements, mutual respect, trust, and admiration are the fairy dust magically protecting your relationship. However, too much agreement and compromise can cause anger to fester, dimming the glow. Love each other's differences and you're golden.

Venus in Scorpio: One part magnetism, mystery, stormy passion and eye of Newt, this couple shares the most intense and complex of all Venus signs. We all have skeletons in our closet, and so does this couple. Key for this relationship? Honesty. A willingness to bare their deepest darkest secrets and fears engenders the psychological intimacy they both crave, as does guarding each other's privacy.

Venus in Sagittarius: This relationship thrives on late night philosophical debates; shared adventures; and leaps of faith, possibility, and miracles. Sagittarius is the sign of freedom—spiritual, intellectual, physical—and you both need to experience that freedom apart, and together. Your magic and faith in each other is restored through culture shock and encounters with the pleasurably exotic and erotically different.

Venus in Capricorn: Capricorn is the sign of integrity. The magic of this relationship relies on mutual respect. A noble gesture, a kind act, showing up on time, reverence for the other's mastery and authority in a field or on a subject, engenders a lovely magic not easily bought sold or replicated. You know what they say about all work and no play: remember to laugh. Your love deepens with age.

Venus in Aquarius: Your partnership was born to break the rules, whatever those rules may be. If marriage feels like a "should," why not live together, and not marry? Your magic relies on your willingness to break rank with the pressure of family, friends, and the Joneses. Nurture the irreverent genius spirit of this relationship by giving each other plenty of freedom to explore, express, and create.

Venus in Pisces: Pisces is the sign of spirituality, which speaks to what this couple needs to cultivate together. You two need to remember the nature of reality isn't all we see, which forays into mysticism and metaphysics help. Nothing distracts us from the spiritual life like busy-ness, so schedule regular retreats, candlelight meditation sessions, and vow to live, together, more consciously and connected.

References:

• Forrest, Steven and Jodie. Skymates II: The Composite Chart (Volume 2). Seven Paws Press (2005).
• Shepherd, Jessica. Venus Signs: Discover Your Erotic Gifts and Secret Desires Through Astrology. Llewellyn Worldwide (2015).